Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Hello Stranger
My Goodness, I have a blog! I had almost forgotten.
I wonder what I should do with you old friend?
Should I just shut you down so you are not just hanging out here alone, neglected in cyberspace neglected?
Or should I maybe spend less time playing Zuma Blitz on Facebook and spend a few afternoons with you?
There is a lot to write about....
We are going through transitions.
Spring is here, and I can hear summer calling.
John is 5 and starting kindergarten in 4 months (GASP!)
Julia is 11 and starting middle school in 4 months (GASP!)
Katherine is 14 and starting her high sophomore year in 4 months (GASP!)
Mothering these three hasn't gotten any less crazy. I still feel like I am mothering by the seat of my pants at times (ok, a lot of the times.)
Of course I could always ponder those things not associated with motherhood.
Like this crazy Paleo diet I am on.
Or the fact that we are electing another president this year.
Or how I'm feeling the need for a transition of my own.
Feeling a bit bored lately.
Time for a change.
Do I try something new or go back and reclaim what has been forgotten?
Friday, July 8, 2011
Ten Reasons Why I Haven't Posted Since May
1. Katherine was captain for a Relay for Life team,, and the whole family was busy fundraising, planning, and participating in this great event. Her team raised over $2500.
2. Boat is back in the water--that comes with some added work, but lots of opportunities for added fun.
3. Katherine graduated from middle school. We had dresses to shop for, ceremonies to attend, parties to host. Oh, and I took the girls to see two concerts in June--sort of as a graduation present. We saw Glee on Tour and Taylor Swift!
4. School ended. I was class mom for Julia and John's classes, and was on the executive board for Julia's school PTA and our town's Special Education PTA (I have trouble saying "no" to volunteering). Anyone who has been a class mom knows that end of year brings some added work--planning class parties, coordinating teacher's gifts, etc.
Being on the PTA can also be time consuming at end of year, especially when the school budget is being cut by 2.8 million dollars. I spent a good amount of time writing to local politicians, commenting on blogs, attending long town meetings, pleading for some of the funding to be restored. Despite the PTAs best efforts, budget was still cut :(
Of course, the school year end brought all of the fun year end events like field day, year end concerts, and parties.
(John is wearing white tee shirt)
5. Having work done around the house this past spring. Had trees cut down, repair work done, now I just need to decide on a color to paint the house. Any suggestions?
6. Facebook. My Bejeweled Blitz addiction has been replaced with an obsession with Zuma Blitz.
7. The weather has been nice. Why be inside on the computer when you could be outside?
8. Been doing some celebrating. Mother's Day, Father's Day, Memorial Day, Fourth of July.
9. I sometimes feel like if I have time to blog, I also have time to clean out the closets. I am now proud to report that you can open our craft closet without the fear of being buried in an avalanche of beads, paints, wrapping paper, old art projects, yarn, polyfill, and Christmas, Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day decorations.
10. I haven't been particularly inspired to write anything I feel anyone would want to read (figured the photos might help keep your attention :)
2. Boat is back in the water--that comes with some added work, but lots of opportunities for added fun.
3. Katherine graduated from middle school. We had dresses to shop for, ceremonies to attend, parties to host. Oh, and I took the girls to see two concerts in June--sort of as a graduation present. We saw Glee on Tour and Taylor Swift!
4. School ended. I was class mom for Julia and John's classes, and was on the executive board for Julia's school PTA and our town's Special Education PTA (I have trouble saying "no" to volunteering). Anyone who has been a class mom knows that end of year brings some added work--planning class parties, coordinating teacher's gifts, etc.
Being on the PTA can also be time consuming at end of year, especially when the school budget is being cut by 2.8 million dollars. I spent a good amount of time writing to local politicians, commenting on blogs, attending long town meetings, pleading for some of the funding to be restored. Despite the PTAs best efforts, budget was still cut :(
Of course, the school year end brought all of the fun year end events like field day, year end concerts, and parties.
(John is wearing white tee shirt)
5. Having work done around the house this past spring. Had trees cut down, repair work done, now I just need to decide on a color to paint the house. Any suggestions?
6. Facebook. My Bejeweled Blitz addiction has been replaced with an obsession with Zuma Blitz.
7. The weather has been nice. Why be inside on the computer when you could be outside?
8. Been doing some celebrating. Mother's Day, Father's Day, Memorial Day, Fourth of July.
9. I sometimes feel like if I have time to blog, I also have time to clean out the closets. I am now proud to report that you can open our craft closet without the fear of being buried in an avalanche of beads, paints, wrapping paper, old art projects, yarn, polyfill, and Christmas, Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day decorations.
10. I haven't been particularly inspired to write anything I feel anyone would want to read (figured the photos might help keep your attention :)
Monday, May 9, 2011
On Motherhood
I always knew I wanted to be a mother.
When I was little, I was the little girl who would get lost in the imaginary world of motherhood. I LOVED to play with baby dolls, and not just one or two babies, I had a bunch of little ones.
At night, I needed to make sure each of my dolls was in bed with me. I needed them close, not only because they were a source of comfort, but what if there was a fire? I needed to make sure all of my babies were within arms reach so I could bring them to safety.
I guess I have always been somewhat of a worrier. And what is that they say about old habits, they die hard.
I also knew that I wanted more than one or two children. Growing up, it was just me and my younger brother, and as much I loved my little brother, I always thought it would have been fun to have a sister or an older brother as well. I think my brother felt the same way as when he was preschooler he had an imaginary brother who lived in Florida; I think his name was Joe.
Or maybe I was just brainwashed into wanting a larger family; after all my favorite TV shows growing up included: The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, The Waltons, and Eight is Enough. While those families had their struggles, they always seemed so close. With an overabundance of kids, came an overabundance of activity and love.
As I grew older, my desire for a truck load of kids dwindled somewhat. 3 or 4 seemed like a much more manageable number than my original wish of six. After all, Mrs. Brady had her Alice, Mama Walton had Grandma and Grandpa to help out, Mrs. Partridge had that cool job that enabled her to work and take care of her kids, and Mr. Bradford (wasn't that the Eight is Enough dad's name?) seemed to have older kids who pretty much took care of themselves and him. It wasn't lost on me that kids meant work :)
I look back on that little girl dreaming of motherhood and think that she didn't have a clue what she was in for.
The thought of losing children never crossed her mind.
The thought of having a child who was disabled never crossed her mind.
The words prenatal testing, biological clock, abortion, and Down syndrome were not even in her vocabulary.
She didn't worry about paying for college, or sibling rivalry, or finding the time to make sure everyone's needs were met.
She didn't really consider how a husband and his needs and plans would play into the whole picture. Maybe she just figured he'd be like all of those TV dads who made it look so easy...even when it was hard.
I wonder what that little girl, the one who thought she would be done having her three or four kids by the time she was thirty would think of the 43 year old woman she has become.
The woman who has three beautiful children.
The woman who aches at times for the two babies who died inside of her.
The woman who is 43 and has a 4 year old...who has Down syndrome.
The woman who is married to a man who has held her hand and traveled this road of parenthood with her, even when this road, at times, has taken them through hell.
I wonder if she knew then what I know now, would her plans have changed? Would she have had her children earlier? Would she have wanted less children, more children, no children? Unlike the choice I made, would she have chosen to put her career ahead of being mother?
Being a mother and wife is who I am. Dare I say it defines me? I no longer work outside of the home. For the most part, my life revolves around my family, and I honestly, wouldn't want it any other way.
Motherhood
That is my trade.
It is the source of my greatest joy....yet at times, the cause of my greatest sorrows.
It challenges me...yet comforts me.
It humbles me...yet is the source of such pride.
It exhausts me...yet rejuvenates me.
It is complex...yet so simple.
Raising children. Seeing them grow, nurturing them, loving them. It requires ever tool in the book.
Patience, laughter, love, compassion, understanding, negotiation...all tricks of the trade.
Sometimes it helps to stop and remember what it was like when you were a chid, remember those innocent, little girl dreams.
Remember the ones that came true and the ones that have yet been fulfilled. Remember what it was like to be innocent of all of the bad things that can happen.
As a mother, I encourage my children to dream big dreams
All the while, helping them develop the tools they will need when life doesn't turn out exactly as they might have planned.
Motherhood has taught me that planning helps, but at the end of the day, sometimes, despite, your well laid plans, things can all fall apart.
Meltdowns are inevitable.
All you can do is take a deep breath.
Hold on to your children and remember.
It's all about the love.
Motherhood has made me a teacher and a student in the lessons of life
Oddly, the lessons I try to teach are sometimes the exact lessons that I am learning from my children.
And at the end of the day, be it an awesome, happy, incredible day or a tiring, horrible day
It is all about the love.
And thanks to my children and their father, my life as a mom is filled with an abundance of love.
Happy Belated Mother's Day
I
When I was little, I was the little girl who would get lost in the imaginary world of motherhood. I LOVED to play with baby dolls, and not just one or two babies, I had a bunch of little ones.
At night, I needed to make sure each of my dolls was in bed with me. I needed them close, not only because they were a source of comfort, but what if there was a fire? I needed to make sure all of my babies were within arms reach so I could bring them to safety.
I guess I have always been somewhat of a worrier. And what is that they say about old habits, they die hard.
I also knew that I wanted more than one or two children. Growing up, it was just me and my younger brother, and as much I loved my little brother, I always thought it would have been fun to have a sister or an older brother as well. I think my brother felt the same way as when he was preschooler he had an imaginary brother who lived in Florida; I think his name was Joe.
Or maybe I was just brainwashed into wanting a larger family; after all my favorite TV shows growing up included: The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, The Waltons, and Eight is Enough. While those families had their struggles, they always seemed so close. With an overabundance of kids, came an overabundance of activity and love.
As I grew older, my desire for a truck load of kids dwindled somewhat. 3 or 4 seemed like a much more manageable number than my original wish of six. After all, Mrs. Brady had her Alice, Mama Walton had Grandma and Grandpa to help out, Mrs. Partridge had that cool job that enabled her to work and take care of her kids, and Mr. Bradford (wasn't that the Eight is Enough dad's name?) seemed to have older kids who pretty much took care of themselves and him. It wasn't lost on me that kids meant work :)
I look back on that little girl dreaming of motherhood and think that she didn't have a clue what she was in for.
The thought of losing children never crossed her mind.
The thought of having a child who was disabled never crossed her mind.
The words prenatal testing, biological clock, abortion, and Down syndrome were not even in her vocabulary.
She didn't worry about paying for college, or sibling rivalry, or finding the time to make sure everyone's needs were met.
She didn't really consider how a husband and his needs and plans would play into the whole picture. Maybe she just figured he'd be like all of those TV dads who made it look so easy...even when it was hard.
I wonder what that little girl, the one who thought she would be done having her three or four kids by the time she was thirty would think of the 43 year old woman she has become.
The woman who has three beautiful children.
The woman who aches at times for the two babies who died inside of her.
The woman who is 43 and has a 4 year old...who has Down syndrome.
The woman who is married to a man who has held her hand and traveled this road of parenthood with her, even when this road, at times, has taken them through hell.
I wonder if she knew then what I know now, would her plans have changed? Would she have had her children earlier? Would she have wanted less children, more children, no children? Unlike the choice I made, would she have chosen to put her career ahead of being mother?
Being a mother and wife is who I am. Dare I say it defines me? I no longer work outside of the home. For the most part, my life revolves around my family, and I honestly, wouldn't want it any other way.
Motherhood
That is my trade.
It is the source of my greatest joy....yet at times, the cause of my greatest sorrows.
It challenges me...yet comforts me.
It humbles me...yet is the source of such pride.
It exhausts me...yet rejuvenates me.
It is complex...yet so simple.
Raising children. Seeing them grow, nurturing them, loving them. It requires ever tool in the book.
Patience, laughter, love, compassion, understanding, negotiation...all tricks of the trade.
Sometimes it helps to stop and remember what it was like when you were a chid, remember those innocent, little girl dreams.
Remember the ones that came true and the ones that have yet been fulfilled. Remember what it was like to be innocent of all of the bad things that can happen.
As a mother, I encourage my children to dream big dreams
All the while, helping them develop the tools they will need when life doesn't turn out exactly as they might have planned.
Motherhood has taught me that planning helps, but at the end of the day, sometimes, despite, your well laid plans, things can all fall apart.
Meltdowns are inevitable.
All you can do is take a deep breath.
Hold on to your children and remember.
It's all about the love.
Motherhood has made me a teacher and a student in the lessons of life
Oddly, the lessons I try to teach are sometimes the exact lessons that I am learning from my children.
And at the end of the day, be it an awesome, happy, incredible day or a tiring, horrible day
It is all about the love.
And thanks to my children and their father, my life as a mom is filled with an abundance of love.
Happy Belated Mother's Day
I
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
To Go or Not To Go--That Was the Question
So I sit here at 6:12 am worried about my thirteen year old. See those kids with 46 chromosomes come with their share of worries too.
Today is the field trip she has been waiting years for. The big 8th grade field trip to Washington DC.
The trip where they are away from home for two nights, sharing a hotel room with their best friends.
Katherine has been so excited for this trip. From the day she started middle school, she has been waiting for this trip, and who could blame her? They are taking a coach bus to DC. They are spending three days touring the city and two nights in a hotel.
In the past, Katherine has not looked forward to being away from home. She is not the girl who wants to go to sleep away camp. She wasn't big on sleepovers when she was little. She likes having her people close. She likes the security of home.
On the one hand, this makes me feel good, knowing that we provide a sense of security and comfort for her. On the other hand, I want her to be independent. I want her to try new things.
Last night, she was suffering from an upset stomach, the exact cause of which has yet to be determined. Was it nerves? Was it the meat sauce I served for dinner? Or was she sick?
Given the situation, I would usually be quick to say it is nerves, but she was sick a couple of days ago. Almost fainted in the middle of her confirmation service on Sunday. After being home from school on Monday, she awoke yesterday ready to get back to her busy life. She spent the afternoon packing, choosing which outfits she was going to wear, texting her friends about the trip. She was excited.
Then she wasn't.
To quote Winnie Pooh, she had a "rumbly in her tumbly."
And she wasn't sure why. She wasn't sure if her mind was getting the best of her, thinking of all of the things that could go wrong, or if she was sick.
She started worrying. "What if I get sick". "What if I don't feel well on the bus". "What if I get home sick". "What if everything I eat makes me feel sick?" "I don't want to be that kid that throws up on the bus or spends the whole trip in bed."
There was very little positive thinking going on in that 13 year old's mind at 12:09am.
I tried to reassure her, but honestly, I wasn't sure what was going on with her either. It was possible that she could still be a little under the weather, but my feeling was she probably just ate too much and just the suggestion of stomach ache got her mind racing.
Yes, maybe she should miss the trip that she had been looking forward to for years.
But what if it was just anxiety? What if she didn't go and then ended up feeling fine later in the day?
It isn't as if DC is a quick drive from here.
This line of thinking just made her more anxious. We talked about if for a little while, but finally, I told her the best thing to do was try to sleep.
Talks resumed at 5:00am, and it was decided that her nerves were probably playing a big factor.
So off she went.
Her dad dropped her off at school before 6:00am, and he just emailed me that the buses pulled out at 6:25.
Now, I am doubting myself. Should I have assumed she might be getting sick again and just kept her home? A part of me felt like she wanted me to pull rank. She wanted me to make that unpopular decision so she didn't have to make it for herself.
As a parent, isn't it our responsibility to make the tough call?
I was so torn between wanting her to have the experience of this trip and wanting to keep her home where I knew she'd be safe.
I let her go.
Partially because I don't think she is really sick, and partially because I feared by that by keeping her home, I would be giving into her anxieties which in a way could be more harmful to her than forcing her to get on a bus with a rumbly tummy.
Fear is a healthy, natural response in certain situations, but you can't let it prevent you from doing things you really want to do.
I want her to be able to recognize her fears, but more so, I want her to be able to not give into them, especially, if they are standing in the way of her achieving something wonderful.
I know she wanted to go on this trip. I know she will have a great time once she is there.
Taking that first step is often the hardest part.
Sometimes you just need a little push.
As a parent, isn't it also our responsibility to give our kids that push?
We push them, and then close our eyes, hoping our little birds will fly...or at the very least that someone will be there to catch them, if they don't.
Today is the field trip she has been waiting years for. The big 8th grade field trip to Washington DC.
The trip where they are away from home for two nights, sharing a hotel room with their best friends.
Katherine has been so excited for this trip. From the day she started middle school, she has been waiting for this trip, and who could blame her? They are taking a coach bus to DC. They are spending three days touring the city and two nights in a hotel.
In the past, Katherine has not looked forward to being away from home. She is not the girl who wants to go to sleep away camp. She wasn't big on sleepovers when she was little. She likes having her people close. She likes the security of home.
On the one hand, this makes me feel good, knowing that we provide a sense of security and comfort for her. On the other hand, I want her to be independent. I want her to try new things.
Last night, she was suffering from an upset stomach, the exact cause of which has yet to be determined. Was it nerves? Was it the meat sauce I served for dinner? Or was she sick?
Given the situation, I would usually be quick to say it is nerves, but she was sick a couple of days ago. Almost fainted in the middle of her confirmation service on Sunday. After being home from school on Monday, she awoke yesterday ready to get back to her busy life. She spent the afternoon packing, choosing which outfits she was going to wear, texting her friends about the trip. She was excited.
Then she wasn't.
To quote Winnie Pooh, she had a "rumbly in her tumbly."
And she wasn't sure why. She wasn't sure if her mind was getting the best of her, thinking of all of the things that could go wrong, or if she was sick.
She started worrying. "What if I get sick". "What if I don't feel well on the bus". "What if I get home sick". "What if everything I eat makes me feel sick?" "I don't want to be that kid that throws up on the bus or spends the whole trip in bed."
There was very little positive thinking going on in that 13 year old's mind at 12:09am.
I tried to reassure her, but honestly, I wasn't sure what was going on with her either. It was possible that she could still be a little under the weather, but my feeling was she probably just ate too much and just the suggestion of stomach ache got her mind racing.
Yes, maybe she should miss the trip that she had been looking forward to for years.
But what if it was just anxiety? What if she didn't go and then ended up feeling fine later in the day?
It isn't as if DC is a quick drive from here.
This line of thinking just made her more anxious. We talked about if for a little while, but finally, I told her the best thing to do was try to sleep.
Talks resumed at 5:00am, and it was decided that her nerves were probably playing a big factor.
So off she went.
Her dad dropped her off at school before 6:00am, and he just emailed me that the buses pulled out at 6:25.
Now, I am doubting myself. Should I have assumed she might be getting sick again and just kept her home? A part of me felt like she wanted me to pull rank. She wanted me to make that unpopular decision so she didn't have to make it for herself.
As a parent, isn't it our responsibility to make the tough call?
I was so torn between wanting her to have the experience of this trip and wanting to keep her home where I knew she'd be safe.
I let her go.
Partially because I don't think she is really sick, and partially because I feared by that by keeping her home, I would be giving into her anxieties which in a way could be more harmful to her than forcing her to get on a bus with a rumbly tummy.
Fear is a healthy, natural response in certain situations, but you can't let it prevent you from doing things you really want to do.
I want her to be able to recognize her fears, but more so, I want her to be able to not give into them, especially, if they are standing in the way of her achieving something wonderful.
I know she wanted to go on this trip. I know she will have a great time once she is there.
Taking that first step is often the hardest part.
Sometimes you just need a little push.
As a parent, isn't it also our responsibility to give our kids that push?
We push them, and then close our eyes, hoping our little birds will fly...or at the very least that someone will be there to catch them, if they don't.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Happy World Down Syndrome Day
Don't have a lot of time to write, but I wanted to share this information I received from the Down Syndrome Research and Treatment Foundation as time is of the essence:
Subject: The 3:1 Donation Match is Back for TODAY ONLY!
Dear Friends,
In honor of World Down Syndrome Day, we have two exciting pieces of news to share with you.
For TODAY ONLY, all of your donations to the plus15 campaign will be matched 3:1! That means that your donation of $15 becomes $60, $50 turns into $200, and $100 becomes $400! The last time we did a matching campaign we raised over $150,000 in a single day; our goal for today is to exceed that. Please join us in donating and spreading the word about this amazing opportunity to multiply your impact!
As part of our ongoing efforts to raise awareness about the need for more federal funding for Down syndrome research, we are doing a photo petition that we will send to members of Congress. Post a photo of yourself, or someone you love with Down syndrome, holding a handmade sign that says "One of Them is Me." That message is at the core of plus15's campaign (watch our video to see it in action at https://www.dsrtf.org/plus15). Then upload your photo to our plus15's facebook page or send it to plus15campaign@gmail.com. Our community has sent in some amazing photos so far, and we want you to join us!
If you want to learn more about Down Syndrome Research and Treatment Foundation’s progress and impact click here to read the latest newsletter. Thank you for all your support so far.
Happy World Down Syndrome Day,
The plus15 campaign team
Help spread the word, and Happy Down Syndrome Day.
Here's a photo of the little we are celebrating today (blowing out the candle on his birthday cupcake)
Subject: The 3:1 Donation Match is Back for TODAY ONLY!
Dear Friends,
In honor of World Down Syndrome Day, we have two exciting pieces of news to share with you.
For TODAY ONLY, all of your donations to the plus15 campaign will be matched 3:1! That means that your donation of $15 becomes $60, $50 turns into $200, and $100 becomes $400! The last time we did a matching campaign we raised over $150,000 in a single day; our goal for today is to exceed that. Please join us in donating and spreading the word about this amazing opportunity to multiply your impact!
As part of our ongoing efforts to raise awareness about the need for more federal funding for Down syndrome research, we are doing a photo petition that we will send to members of Congress. Post a photo of yourself, or someone you love with Down syndrome, holding a handmade sign that says "One of Them is Me." That message is at the core of plus15's campaign (watch our video to see it in action at https://www.dsrtf.org/plus15). Then upload your photo to our plus15's facebook page or send it to plus15campaign@gmail.com. Our community has sent in some amazing photos so far, and we want you to join us!
If you want to learn more about Down Syndrome Research and Treatment Foundation’s progress and impact click here to read the latest newsletter. Thank you for all your support so far.
Happy World Down Syndrome Day,
The plus15 campaign team
Help spread the word, and Happy Down Syndrome Day.
Here's a photo of the little we are celebrating today (blowing out the candle on his birthday cupcake)
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
You Can Help an Orphan Today for Free!
A few posts ago, I wrote about Danil and his forever family who raising money to bring him home. He is currently in an orphanage in Eastern Europe.
Well if you are on Facebook, here is an easy way that you can add $5.00 to Danil's adoption fund, and it won't cost you a dime!
Here's what you need to do:
1. Like the page http://on.fb.me/eWxXRq. This is for Kevin Kubota Photography.
2. Like the photo http://on.fb.me/ibnwTA. This is for the Laying Down Game WPPI 2011. This photo (which is hysterical) was submitted by Laurie's cousin, Megan. If she wins this game, money goes into Danil's adoption fund!
3. And while you are on FB, you can join the community, Adding to the Maddness and follow Danil's adoption process through FB.
If you click on the links above, you will hopefully be brought to the corresponding page in Facebook (it worked when I tried it.)
Here's the catch. You must do it NOW! Voting for the photos ends today, and if Megan doesn't win, Danil's adoption fund will not get the money.
Also, Laurie is raffling off an iPad 2 on Danil's adoption blog. Who wouldn't want to help an orphan and possibly win an iPad 2?! Not me!
Click HERE to enter!
Laurie is also offering bloggers a chance to win a $50 Target gift card. All you need to do is spread the word about the iPad raffle on your blog! Click HERE for details.
How cool is that? Pretty cool.
Ok, you've spent enough time here, go help bring Danil home :)
Well if you are on Facebook, here is an easy way that you can add $5.00 to Danil's adoption fund, and it won't cost you a dime!
Here's what you need to do:
1. Like the page http://on.fb.me/eWxXRq. This is for Kevin Kubota Photography.
2. Like the photo http://on.fb.me/ibnwTA. This is for the Laying Down Game WPPI 2011. This photo (which is hysterical) was submitted by Laurie's cousin, Megan. If she wins this game, money goes into Danil's adoption fund!
3. And while you are on FB, you can join the community, Adding to the Maddness and follow Danil's adoption process through FB.
If you click on the links above, you will hopefully be brought to the corresponding page in Facebook (it worked when I tried it.)
Here's the catch. You must do it NOW! Voting for the photos ends today, and if Megan doesn't win, Danil's adoption fund will not get the money.
Also, Laurie is raffling off an iPad 2 on Danil's adoption blog. Who wouldn't want to help an orphan and possibly win an iPad 2?! Not me!
Click HERE to enter!
Laurie is also offering bloggers a chance to win a $50 Target gift card. All you need to do is spread the word about the iPad raffle on your blog! Click HERE for details.
How cool is that? Pretty cool.
Ok, you've spent enough time here, go help bring Danil home :)
Friday, March 4, 2011
Darwin, Ds and Evolving Thoughts on Evolution
So creation if is on one side of the "How did we get here" coin.
Evolution is on the other.
According do Dictionary.com, evolution, in regards to biology, is defined as:
"The change in the gene pool of a population from generation to generation by such processes as mutation, natural selection, and genetic drift."
Now how does Down syndrome fit in with the theory of evolution?
Well, I'm not 100% sure, but I've been mulling it over.
If your game, feel free to ramble this road with me as I try and put my thoughts into words. (remember I was an English/Poli Sci major, so feel free to correct my admittedly non scientific train of thought).
Down syndrome is usually caused by a mutation in either the egg or the sperm which causes an excess of the genetic material of the 21st chromosome. Mutations help a species evolve.
As far as know, most males with Down syndrome have been considered sterile so the chances of two people who have Ds having a child with Ds are pretty slim. Down syndrome is not passed down from generation to generation so no chance of evolution there.
The majority of embryos with Down syndrome are spontaneously aborted (miscarried); nonetheless, Down syndrome results in about 1 in 733 live births. That number would be higher if abortion did not factor into the picture.
Down syndrome is a relatively common condition in the human species. It belongs.
Abortion does factor in though. About 90% of embryos\fetuses with Down syndrome are aborted.
Years ago, before I was even pregnant with John, in the midst of a discussion on prenatal testing, my mother commented that she felt that some viewed/used abortion as a means of natural selection. (that's probably when the seed for this train of thought was planted.) My dad, who was also there, quickly added, down syndrome is not a reason to have an abortion :)
Now, my mom wasn't agreeing with the practice or defending it. She was just making an observation (the biology teacher in her was in full gear.)
Natural selection is key to Charles Darwin's theory of evolution, On The Origin of the Species.
According to Wikipedia, "Natural selection is the process by which traits become more or less common in a population due to consistent effects upon the survival or reproduction of their bearers. It is a key mechanism of evolution."
I disagreed with her observation.
Miscarriage is natural.
Abortion is not.
Abortion didn't seem to fit in with that definition of natural selection.
Darwin's theory of Survival of the Fittest did come to mind. The survival of one member of the species was at the mercy of another member, a member who was stronger and more powerful.
Wikipedia says, "Darwin first used Spencer's "survival of the fittest" as a synonym for natural selection in the fifth edition of On the Origin of Species, published in 1869.[2][3] Darwin meant it as a metaphor for "better adapted for immediate, local environment", not the common inference of "in the best physical shape"[4]. Hence, it is not a scientific description.[5]"
That definition seemed to make better sense to me. I do agree that individuals with Down syndrome are not better adapted for the immediate, local environment. Individuals with Down syndrome often need the support of others.
I think that, many times, the problem is more with the environment than with the individual with Down syndrome.
It is only natural for parents to want their children to be able to thrive in this world.
I am not denying that having a child who, at times, needs additional help to exist in his environment can be a bit stressful.
It's not all about concern for the child though. Parents, smart, fit, intelligent, selfish parents also worry about what effect a child with Down syndrome will have on their lives and the lives of their other children. That reaction, that gut reaction to protect yourself, is only natural.
It is what we do with that reaction that matters.
As the numbers indicate, most people who know prenatally that their child has Ds choose not to bring them into the world.
On the surface, I can see how the "survival of the fittest argument might apply". Fit parents wanting only fit children. I get it why people do it.
Personally, I don't think those who choose abortion are the most "fit" though.
I think fear, not strength, is what drives people to make what must be the gut wrenching and heart breaking decision not give their own child a chance to "survive."
I believe the truly "fit" parents are the ones that don't choose abortion.
These parents believe in their ability to adapt--a very desirable trait to have according to Darwin.
The stronger of the species are the ones who choose to let species evolve naturally.
Down syndrome is a natural and needed part of the human species.
Knowing, protecting, loving those members of our species who may not have the strongest genotype is what separates us from the animals that abandon or kill their weak.
It is the essence of what makes us human.
We have the power to change our environment to make it easier for all members of our species to thrive. (Sometimes it takes loving someone with Down syndrome to make this a priority.)
We have the power to change ourselves. (Sometimes it might take loving a child with Down syndrome to make this change happen.)
We have the power to adapt. (Sometimes our child with Down syndrome gives us no other choice.)
We have the power to further evolve. (Sometimes we may just need a catalyst to do so)
Maybe that's what Down syndrome is to the human species.
Down syndrome is our catalyst.
It forces others in the species to adapt and evolve, often at a quicker rate, while it's essence remains unchanged by evolution.
(A species probably just went extinct in the time it took for me to write, and for you to read, this post!)
Evolution is on the other.
According do Dictionary.com, evolution, in regards to biology, is defined as:
"The change in the gene pool of a population from generation to generation by such processes as mutation, natural selection, and genetic drift."
Now how does Down syndrome fit in with the theory of evolution?
Well, I'm not 100% sure, but I've been mulling it over.
If your game, feel free to ramble this road with me as I try and put my thoughts into words. (remember I was an English/Poli Sci major, so feel free to correct my admittedly non scientific train of thought).
Down syndrome is usually caused by a mutation in either the egg or the sperm which causes an excess of the genetic material of the 21st chromosome. Mutations help a species evolve.
As far as know, most males with Down syndrome have been considered sterile so the chances of two people who have Ds having a child with Ds are pretty slim. Down syndrome is not passed down from generation to generation so no chance of evolution there.
The majority of embryos with Down syndrome are spontaneously aborted (miscarried); nonetheless, Down syndrome results in about 1 in 733 live births. That number would be higher if abortion did not factor into the picture.
Down syndrome is a relatively common condition in the human species. It belongs.
Abortion does factor in though. About 90% of embryos\fetuses with Down syndrome are aborted.
Years ago, before I was even pregnant with John, in the midst of a discussion on prenatal testing, my mother commented that she felt that some viewed/used abortion as a means of natural selection. (that's probably when the seed for this train of thought was planted.) My dad, who was also there, quickly added, down syndrome is not a reason to have an abortion :)
Now, my mom wasn't agreeing with the practice or defending it. She was just making an observation (the biology teacher in her was in full gear.)
Natural selection is key to Charles Darwin's theory of evolution, On The Origin of the Species.
According to Wikipedia, "Natural selection is the process by which traits become more or less common in a population due to consistent effects upon the survival or reproduction of their bearers. It is a key mechanism of evolution."
I disagreed with her observation.
Miscarriage is natural.
Abortion is not.
Abortion didn't seem to fit in with that definition of natural selection.
Darwin's theory of Survival of the Fittest did come to mind. The survival of one member of the species was at the mercy of another member, a member who was stronger and more powerful.
Wikipedia says, "Darwin first used Spencer's "survival of the fittest" as a synonym for natural selection in the fifth edition of On the Origin of Species, published in 1869.[2][3] Darwin meant it as a metaphor for "better adapted for immediate, local environment", not the common inference of "in the best physical shape"[4]. Hence, it is not a scientific description.[5]"
That definition seemed to make better sense to me. I do agree that individuals with Down syndrome are not better adapted for the immediate, local environment. Individuals with Down syndrome often need the support of others.
I think that, many times, the problem is more with the environment than with the individual with Down syndrome.
It is only natural for parents to want their children to be able to thrive in this world.
I am not denying that having a child who, at times, needs additional help to exist in his environment can be a bit stressful.
It's not all about concern for the child though. Parents, smart, fit, intelligent, selfish parents also worry about what effect a child with Down syndrome will have on their lives and the lives of their other children. That reaction, that gut reaction to protect yourself, is only natural.
It is what we do with that reaction that matters.
As the numbers indicate, most people who know prenatally that their child has Ds choose not to bring them into the world.
On the surface, I can see how the "survival of the fittest argument might apply". Fit parents wanting only fit children. I get it why people do it.
Personally, I don't think those who choose abortion are the most "fit" though.
I think fear, not strength, is what drives people to make what must be the gut wrenching and heart breaking decision not give their own child a chance to "survive."
I believe the truly "fit" parents are the ones that don't choose abortion.
These parents believe in their ability to adapt--a very desirable trait to have according to Darwin.
The stronger of the species are the ones who choose to let species evolve naturally.
Down syndrome is a natural and needed part of the human species.
Knowing, protecting, loving those members of our species who may not have the strongest genotype is what separates us from the animals that abandon or kill their weak.
It is the essence of what makes us human.
We have the power to change our environment to make it easier for all members of our species to thrive. (Sometimes it takes loving someone with Down syndrome to make this a priority.)
We have the power to change ourselves. (Sometimes it might take loving a child with Down syndrome to make this change happen.)
We have the power to adapt. (Sometimes our child with Down syndrome gives us no other choice.)
We have the power to further evolve. (Sometimes we may just need a catalyst to do so)
Maybe that's what Down syndrome is to the human species.
Down syndrome is our catalyst.
It forces others in the species to adapt and evolve, often at a quicker rate, while it's essence remains unchanged by evolution.
(A species probably just went extinct in the time it took for me to write, and for you to read, this post!)
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